1/5 David L. 1 year ago on Google
It
is
said
that
there
are
no
victims,
only
volunteers.
In
life
this
may
be
generally
true,
but
my
wife,
friends
and
myself
were
sorely
victimized
by
our
experience
at
La
Mer
in
2020.
At
the
risk
of
sounding
like
the
Ancient
Mariner,
let
me
attach
myself
to
your
electronic
sleeve
and
regale
you
with
a
tale
so
appalling
as
might
chill
your
very
marrow.
I
hope
this
may
save
you,
as
I
wish
someone
had
us.
First
red
flag:
our
first
warning
sign
was
that
upon
arrival
at
the
restaurant,
which
is
extremely
capacious,
only
a
few
tables
were
occupied.
(Suggestion:
in
future,
if
you
ever
encounter
this,
RUN).
Our
friends
did
not
care
for
the
table
at
which
we
were
first
seated,
and
so
we
were
moved
to
a
private
room,
for
the
stated
reason
that
all
of
the
other
tables
were
reserved.
Over
the
course
of
the
evening
(which
went
by
very
slowly,
due
to
the
abysmal
service)
it
became
apparent
that
this
was
untrue
-
at
most
the
restaurant
was
1/3
full.
Second
red
flag:
the
menu
was
all
prix
fixe
and
was
about
$130
for
three
courses
and
$150
for
four.
Third
red
flag:
literally
nothing
on
the
menu
appealed
to
me.
I'm
not
the
most
adventurous
eater,
true,
but
I'm
not
a
meat
and
potatoes
only
guy
either.
To
find
absolutely
nothing
was,
for
me,
a
first.
Fourth
red
flag:
the
amuse
bouche
was
some
sort
of
semi-liquid
concoction
which
had
absolutely
no
flavor
whatsoever.
Neither
my
bouche
nor
any
other
part
was
amused
in
the
least.
Well,
at
this
point
our
goose
was
surely
cooked,
so
to
speak.
Every
main
course
was
a
disaster,
to
wit:
My
fish
was
small,
fishy,
none
too
hot
and
horribly
unappetizing.
My
wife
had
a
fish
which
measured
maybe
four
inches
long;
it
looked
like
the
kind
of
fish
a
small
child
might
catch
and
then
throw
back
in.
It
was
strongly
recommended
as
one
of
the
chef's
specials.
Not
only
was
it
small,
but
tasteless.
Her
appetizer
was
both
small
and
inedible.
The
other
couple
had
a
calamari
dish
-
with
two
pieces
of
calamari
each
measuring
maybe
an
inch
and
a
half
across
-
and
a
steak,
which
had
to
be
ordered
a
la
carte.
That
was
ok,
as
I
recall,
but
small.
I
chose
cheese
for
dessert.
A
very
impressive
cheeseboard
was
rolled
up
to
the
table
and
I
was
given
a
plate
upon
which
five
diminutive,
not
to
say
Lilliputian,
pieces
of
toast
were
arranged.
The
waiter
then
cut
five
pieces
of
cheese
of
my
choice,
each
of
which
was
precisely
hewn
to
the
same
tiny
dimensions.
It
was
made
clear
that
this
was
all
I
was
entitled
to.
My
wife's
dessert
was
a
soufflé,
which
wasn't
too
bad.
The
bill
for
this
farcical
semblance
of
a
meal
was
staggering.
We
had
been
truly
reamed,
creamed
and
dry-cleaned.
Please
do
yourself
a
favor
-
stay
well
away
from
this
place.
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